welcome

America's Guest status is tough. This is me working through some stuff. Not a funny post, more a peek inside my brain. You've been warned.

Today marks a rare guest appearance from The Scaries. Normally a Sunday thing that I am well equipped to handle these mid week bastards are sneaky and most likely holiday related. That was a cryptic way of saying I am feeling like it’s time to bolt back home this morning. This is nothing that anyone has done or any unmet expectation, just my brain being an asshole.

I have a lovely host situation with my friend John right in my old neighborhood. He shares my unmarried status and rattles around in the big creepily automated house by himself so I can come and go as I please. Its nothing to do with that, but its not home.

I will not leave today as I have one more family obligation that I don’t want to miss. I get to meet the new in-laws (wedding coming Spring 2024) and I’m excited. They seem like fun people and I love their child so this should be great. But once that is crossed off the list there is little holding me here.

I didn’t get to see everyone I wanted to but I blame these pesky holidays for that. I remember the sheer amount of stuff that had to get done around this time of year and the enhanced tension levels reaching defcon 5. Oh wait, that might just have been my situation. I’m sure most people’s holidays are sugar cookies and rainbows…

The real issue is my impending birthday. The last four years have been tough. Found out some terrible relationship news after the first bad one. The next year I was pretend married and an old friend passed away on the very night. (which messed with me more than I would have thought) The year after that I was in the first solo apartment of my existence and I bullshat my way into spending the day and night alone.

Last year a friend saw through my nonsense and forced me to go out. It was a nice time but nothing to eradicate the mental bad juju. And this year Ive got a couple of nice offers but two of them seem like setups and there’s no way I’m ready for the New Years Eve as first date. The thought of hitting midnight with a blind date is enough to trigger uncontrollable douche chills. Plus a first kiss with my not-yet-majestic beard seems problematic.

I am not normally a selfie guy but a friend who is also growing out his hair asked me for a status update. I really need to run a grooming device through that thing as it gets a bit nuts when slept upon. The puzzlement you see depicted above is old man me trying to figure out how to make the camera turn around. I should also apologize to my friend who tried to teach me the art of self photography for my dating profile. I think I broke every one of your rules…

And finally if you stuck through this all the way to the end, thanks for listening. I mentioned I am comfortable here but there is no way I’m talking to the doctor that lives in my iPad anywhere but at home.