I have been hit by an avalanche of Sunday Scaries. For a whole pile of reasons (wait, I wasn't even trying there...) not the least of which is the new year. All of the changes that have been in the works for as long as I can remember are now becoming very real. I take over my new team fully this week. I should explain that a little. I took them over a couple months ago but I was living in another state for half that time, I had training obligations that took me away from the work, and I was on PTO for the last two weeks. (you would have to be an idiot to turn down taking 6 days and getting 16 straight off) So this is the first "real" week of work in this new role.
I also left Illinois for the final time. From now on I will be blowing into that state with a specific purpose and will not feel like I did before in a lot of ways that are hard to describe. The divorce will be final in the next couple of weeks once we get on the judges schedule and I verbally agree over Zoom to everything we have already agreed to. (don't ask me why because I have burned a lot of brain cells on this with nothing to show for the effort.) And this pandemic deal is going to remain an asspain throughout the coming year.
I have an interview flying in this week and my company is conducting the first live training at home base in a while. Even with all that most of my pressure is internal. If work is the one thing that I've got right now then I will damn well crush it or go down trying. anyhow, I was writing this in an effort to quiet those demons and all I've done is provide them with a mental megaphone.
I'll be fine one this week starts. Today feels like waiting and that is not one of my core competencies.