Posts are probably going to appear on the weekends for the most part so tuning in once a week is the recommended viewing schedule. For the first time in six or seven years I find myself challenged at work and its a great feeling. That sounds worse than it is and I think its because I used the word challenged. Maybe I should have said uncomfortable. Yup, that's it. A delicious feeling of discomfort has my brain spinning all week. By the time I finish my day I am mental mush.
I go home, eat something, watch or listen to something, read something, then drop off to sleep in an instant. No desire to talk or interact with anyone. Could be antisocial or it could be just my current situation. Either way its kind of nice. No fitful nights thinking about how to change circumstances beyond my control or dreaming about alternate outcomes. Being challenged at work has scrubbed that all away.
And its not like I hated my job before. I love this company and what I do. In fact, I got better than good at it which allowed me to coast from time to time. I get a charge out of improving peoples work lives and changing locked minds but those opportunities were backfilled with calls I could do in my sleep. Now I'm learning, and teaching, and adapting, and adjusting to a whole new reality.
And speaking of new reality... I have a few friends pushing me to try the dating thing right now but that's not going to happen for a lot of reasons. First and foremost; I am not officially divorced. I'm two states away, we have agreed on all the things, living separate lives, yet my broken brain wont let me think about that step until this one is in the rearview mirror.
Next up is I need to get used to this new normal. I can see why people hook up quickly after the formal death of a relationship. It can be a little scary to be alone and its easy to get trapped in your own thoughts. To sum up, Ive got to get right with me before I make a run at interacting with anyone else. Not trying to be a monk, just not looking to cause a mess where none exists.