travlr

I really need a new rhythm for writing this thing. I tried typing on my flight this weekend but the story I wanted to tell was about the woman seated next to me and there was no way to thumb type in stealth mode. I might need to get one of those privacy screen protector deals for my phone but I also prefer writing on my laptop whenever possible. The screen on that thing is blissfully big which means writing right next to your subject is like projecting it on to a screen in front of them not to mention the people seated behind me.

And lest you think me paranoid, when I get bored on a flight I like nothing more than creeping on unsuspecting passengers around me. I got so entwined in a dude seated in front of me and the problems he and his coworkers were having with a difficult boss. I wanted to offer him a drink at our destination if he would fill in some details I couldn’t quite track. He had his outlook open on one side of his screen and his what I guessed was personal gmail open on the other. Smart. But not smart enough to realize that the dude seated diagonally behind him was enthralled by every word.

Anyhow, the woman beside me was having some stomach issues on the flight and in-between trips to the bathroom she was dropping bombs. So bad in fact that while she was away I was attempting to adjust the tiny air vents in different configurations to hopefully redirect some of the stench. I have no idea what was going on with her and my only hope was that she went immediately from the airport to a hospital. This was the first time since COVID that I wished for a face mask.

In other news my cousins thought they were slick by sneaking a cantaloupe into my carryon bag last Sunday but they overplayed their hand. When you travel as much as I do the weight of your bags is a constant. When they were dropping me off at the airport they handed me the bag and asked “what was in there?” which would have been another clue if the weight didn’t give it away.

Once I was out of their sight I looked in the luggage and found the stowaway fruit disposing of it in the nearest receptacle before it could cause me any unnecessary TSA troubles. The best way to reverse a prank is to pretend it didn’t happen so finally the next day when I hadn’t said anything I got a text:

Let the games begin…