tough one
I've been trying to write this for a couple days but I keep starting and stopping. Thanksgiving was weird but not for the reasons you might think. Soon to be officially divorced guy staying at his now former house for the holiday is just as strange as it sounds but that is no ones fault but my own. I think I'm in a bunch of different stages of this thing all at once. The best way I can figure this out is in my beloved list form. So here in a weird way of explanation...
It is hard as hell to walk away from more than thirty years at anything let alone a marriage that produced three of your favorite humans on the planet. I think the real tough part here is to not keep trying to fix things. Alas, two years, multiple professionals, and the party of the second part, all agree that its time for me to move along.
Those effing dogs that were once the bane of my existence really helped me survive the last two years. Leaving them is like leaving some pieces of myself behind.
My friends. This might be the toughest of all but its also the hardest to explain. I love them all like brothers. The problem is that they are fun friends not share your troubles friends. That is probably a ME thing more than any of them but when we gather its not to exchange whiny sob stories. Add to that the fact that most are successfully married and things get another notch odd because their wives are friends with my former. That is no shot at anyone but I can't put any of them in a position to keep something from a partner.
Then come my vault friends. This small group includes my brother and are the ones who would help me dispose of a body and lie about it under oath. Its really tough to be away from this core because they represent safety. Even if we don't talk for a while I could call any of them at any time and get whatever help I require. And I for any of them.
And then my kids. I love them so much but more than that they are good adults and fun to just hang out with. Even if we are doing nothing more than watching a movie, their proximity makes me happy. They are all the main reason I moved relatively close. I had designs on heading West. Not North and West and I was looking for better weather as well as a change of venue.
Finally, excitement about this new life. I'm beginning a new job with a ton more responsibility. New place, old friends here and new ones I haven't yet met.
All this lead to a spinning brain that made me get the hell out of Dodge a day early. Now that I wrote it I'm not so sure why it took so long but there you have it.