Tired whiny guy

This might be a good one to skip.

*editors note: I started this during one of my busiest weeks of the year so I’ll try to make some sense of the exhausted emotion I initially typed. Also, apologies to the now 7 of you for missing last week. I traveled Saturday to Saturday, so, yup.

This is the first year I’m in charge of our company’s big show. Not solely in charge mind you but an important part nonetheless and I felt the pressure. This means that the stress levels are exponentially elevated but, this is the job I signed up to do. Luckily the hardworking smart people in our organization are consistently impressive. Most of the time I just sit back and bask in their brilliance. And then there are those whose main job seems to be annoyance or irritation.

Selfish and lazy are not what this organization is all about but for some reason we have begun to tolerate just those virtues. It’s only in a couple people but it feels like these few one bad apples are spoiling the whole bunch. girl (it just occurred to me; was Michael Jackson singing about himself and or his blossoming proclivities?) I was making it more than one person there as not to unfairly implicate a coworker but those who know already know and those who don’t see it most likely never will. Just to be clear I have conversations with the subject in question about all the various things but my words don’t translate into something he understands.

I’m not going to list out all the perceived transgressions mostly because you would think I was exaggerating. I’m just tired of burning limited brain cycles on things that shouldn’t be things. Pissed because as I said I have tried multiple ways to help him do just that and now I am left with sitting back and wallowing in disappointment mostly with myself for not being able to help correct the behavior. (that sentence was one of my top 10 worst for those keeping score at home) It feels like a coaching failure.

I hate most that one person has turned me into something I dislike. I’ve been on a quest for the last year to become a better me and this isn’t that. I’ve even talked to my shrink and she is trying to get me to evict him from living rent free in my skull. My challenge to myself for the next two weeks is to not say his name unless polite and or professional conversation demands it. I should probably make that three weeks because I’m hitting the road on Monday heading back to Illinois for the week. (sorry, not all thoughts need to be written down)

I had a lot of time to think while my brain was racing and I couldn’t sleep. I realized that I need someone to share things with. For two years now I have been without a daily debrief. Not just once a week or whenever I feel like it with family or friends but I need more frequency. It might be time for me to find someone to talk to every day. I miss that. These feelings are partially brought to you by the following

Side story: I’ve got a lot of friends in this organization both as coworkers and members (our customers) and almost as if there was a meeting - they have decided that two years divorced is long enough for me to be single. The weeks count was at 2.5 introductions with ulterior motives. The .5 is someone I was reintroduced to who is in a dating relationship but her friends don’t really like the new boyfriend.

I’ve politely declined on all fronts because in spite of my recent not-completely-enjoying-being-alone I still love this gig. And if you truly love your job you don’t shit where you eat. I know plenty of people who have found love in the workplace and more power to them and possibly you but its one of my things. Also, some of these people just want me to date so they can get stories from the shitshow that is app based dating.

Anyhow, having someone to debrief your day with it what I miss most. Okay, enough of the tired whining as its starting to make me not want to publish this one.

I got to go to a speakeasy with my friends Rachel and Ryan and the menu was magical. Alas my low light phone photographic skills are lacking but I think you should be able to read part of it.

Super cool experience. You have to punch in a secret code to get in that turned out to be their marketing thing. They give unique codes to bartenders at other bars. They keep track of the codes and give the referring person a kickback. Pretty sweet system. The name of this place was Floppy Disc Repair Co. Austin Texas. recommended