this week took a turn

It all started Wednesday night when I went to bed with a stuffed up nose. This is no big surprise because 'tis the season but I had a full head for the better part of a week. I awoke Thursday morning and upon stepping down I literally stumbled out of bed. I was a bit dizzy but I felt the tide of stuff inside my melon moving around. I thought it was a temporary condition brought on by drainage. When I got to the bathroom I noticed that one of my nostrils decided to bleed at some point during my slumber. Again, no big deal because if you don't use lotion of some kind up here your skin can turn to jerky in no time and nosebleeds are a common byproduct of desert air.

My world never quite righted itself. As I was driving to work I couldn't help but wonder if it was a great idea to be behind the wheel but in for a penny... The trouble really began as I entered the parking garage. In our building parking begins on the 3rd level which means you have to corkscrew up from the street. Holy seasick Batman. About halfway up I started to sweat in an about to vomit fashion. Closing my eyes was not an option unless I wanted to drive by feel the rest of the wat so I had to tough it out.

When I got to my office the nausea intensified. I kept thinking it would just go away but that never happened. An hour in I knew I was going to blow and we had a class in session this week so that could not happen. For those who don't know I am a yell vomit guy. I rarely do it so when my body encounters something it wants to get rid of for some reason it engages all expulsion systems including shouting. It is a brutal experience for the unsuspecting bystander and luckily one that few have witnessed. I couldn't toss in the office so I broke for home and made it to the bathroom of solitude.

Once that awful was complete I showered for good measure and headed in to lie down. When I pulled back the covers on my dizzily made bed I was staring at a blood based Cat In The Hat situation. Apparently my nose bleed was a little more than earlier assessed and I had a crime scene to clean. The entire bed wen into the wash all the while the world was swaying on its axis. Super good times.

While the clean was in progress I got on the iPad with the doc-in-the-box and she walked me through my diagnosis. At one point I had to do this thing called the Epley Maneuver and it showed (by making my vison shake violently out of nowhere) I had a sinus infection that had spread to my inner ear. Holy horseshit! I had a segment of a class to teach that afternoon.

I swallowed enough antihistamine to kill a smaller adult and floated my way back to work. I presented in front of a room full of people who were moving like waves on the ocean. Every once in a while I had to steady myself on the podium or a stool but for the most part I think my troubles went undetected. I'm fine as long as I don't move my head too quickly or bend down to pick anything up. Vertigo is a muthafuckr but I have drugs and the doctor in my iPad says I should feel better in a couple days.

I had to use some bleach during the second round of washing so my sheets now look like someone thought tie-dye might be fun but gave up 1/3 into the project. Okay, that's an exaggeration, there are some annoying little white spots on my otherwise gray sheets. No big deal to a normal person but their days might be numbered in my house.

One final note: I can't sit in my rocking recliner as that has turned into Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Its the little things that annoy the most.