stupidtom's wild kingdom
As I have transitioned my morning routine to not have the living shit scared out of me by random homeless people in the dark I am seeing a different side of my normal walking track. I now begin my day in the dark by setting up all of my notes and appointments, normal computer related nonsense, while I wait for the sun to show up. I leave before sunrise and usually get back once it has risen which allows me to witness the shift change between the nocturnal animals and their day time counterparts. Once such is this guy…
From a distance I wasn’t sure what I was looking at
The railing is because this buji bastard has chosen to live right next to Minnehaha falls. I thought maybe he would get scared if I got close…
nope. I guess when you live that close to a tourist destination your fans just become part of the background. Hard to tell but he was giving me the side eye at this point probably in case I climbed the fence for a better shot.
I may have scared him because I have checked back every day since and he hasn’t been visible. I even checked back in the dark with my phone flashlight but he wasn’t home. I might be a tad bit obsessed.
That’s his tree with the falls in the background. Built in daytime sleeping noise machine. I think I just caught him on a day where he had a rough night. I might have a better chance if I started my route by the falls but I am a creature of habit and that would have me walking in the heart of darkness. I could follow the runners and bikers by wearing some head illumination but I refuse to march around looking like a giant Minion.
And then there are these fuckers.
Just a flock of dog sized wild turkeys enjoying the park
These were a little more streetwise as I couldn’t get closer without all heads popping up and one taking a four foot flight in the other direction. If these guys chose to group up and attack I would definitely run. Up close this is some prehistoric looking shit. Thankfully (stretch pun intended) I don’t have to see that awful head whilst eating their delicious flesh. Okay, this is taking a turn. Final note: the first person to eat a turkey was real hungry.
In other news I thought I had a shot at some nightmare fuel as a dude sat atop the wall looking like he was considering a jump. This is by no means guaranteed death at its only 50ish feet but there was no way I was just going to watch that happen so I changed direction to an intercept course. This scared him as he flipped his legs onto the safe side, hopped off, and scurried away.
Upon further reflection I might have gone worst case scenario but I really didn’t have the time or mental energy available if that whole thing went south. I’m putting that one in the win column even if it was just an overenthusiastic nature lover. All part of the wild kingdom.