So it turns out I'm a lesbian
I have always had a healthy appreciation for women but my recent choice in vehicles has confirmed all earlier suspicions. Today I became the out-loud-and-proud owner of a Subaru which is the number one selling car in my community. I could bore the living crap out of you with my exhaustive search details but that serves no one. I wanted something smaller than the previous thing I drove because it’s just me. It needed to have all wheel drive at least because I live in a frozen hellscape part of the year and I really enjoy heading back to Illinois whenever I want.
I drove a lot of different cars partially because I like shopping for said same. Most of you probably hate it but I enjoy every bit of the game and I especially like screwing up their rhythm. Case in point, when this dealer thought I really liked this car I began calling it a station wagon. They half laughed and corrected me with SUV but I persisted. Truth be told that’s what it is but for some reason everyone in the dealership cringed when I said it.
You can call it an SUV or an Elephant for all I care but that fucker is a station wagon. The only thing it’s missing is a rear facing 3rd row bench seat. Then it would be perfect. By the way it’s not just this company that is full of shit with their classifications. Everyone has something called an SUV that shouldn’t be. I just don’t understand what the problem is or maybe the SUV fascination. Technically the 1974 Buick Century I drove was a Monster Truck by todays standards…
*not the actual car but I wanted to give an accurate idea.
Might not have had all wheel drive but that car navigated some stuff that would make a modern Sport utility Vehicle cry. Snow banks, sketching, lawn jobs, we once pulled the gutters off of a house with it. Hell, I used to race that thing against some of my geared friends and shockingly win every once in a while.
so. many. tickets. Great memories but as always I digress. back to my new lesbomobile.
I would love to tell you that the picture above was blurred on purpose to obfuscate any personal details but I just suck at taking pictures with my phone. I was talking to a friend and telling her how ridiculous the display is and she wanted proof. I am not driving but waiting in line at GoodWill to drop off some detritus. I have fallen behind in my One Thing In One Thing Out rule so I packed the back full to rebalance my life.
Anyway, this is what I drive for now. Car prices have reached ridiculous levels and interest rates have screwed up the leasing thing so I just got something used. I need a car to be functional and fit my budget more than anything. Size is perfect for what I need, price was great, reliable as all hell according to everyone who rates such things, and people buy them, myself now included. I was hoping for some kind of honorary alternative lifestyle certificate or at least a bumper sticker but I guess that’s on me.
All I really care about is being able to argue with Siri as I reliably drive down the road and this little wagon fits that bill. Currently Siri is an annoying British gentleman who can’t say Parking Lot and interrupts my music and audiobooks at the worst times. Going to stop myself before I roll down another hill. I’ve got a manual to read so I can fly this spaceship err station wagon.