Slow down big fella
It’s time for me to change things up a bit. I put a pair of shorts on over the weekend and it felt as if my nuts were in an ancient cloth torture device. No kink shame from me if you like that sort of thing but I am not a constant irritation/aggravation person. Luckily that was not the case and I’ve just been living a little too high on the hog. (oh for fuck sake now I have to go look up that phrase because it just now, made no sense to me.. Well at least it means sort of what I was going for in an olde timey sort of way. back to the original track) The first six months of this year have been spent as if yours truly were on a continuous vacation and its time to get back to reality.
Sadly I know what the answer is and I just need to get that done. Step one will be to eat that boring bullshit from before that helped me get in line. Then I need to get out and walk more. That’s just good practice in general but I’m hoping that writing it here will serve as a way to pressure myself. This probably won’t work as I tend to push back pretty hard against pressure but you never know.
I was confronted with a question last weekend that has my brain twisted up in a pretzel. I was asked by a college friend what I was going to do for my BIG birthday this year and when I answered “probably nothing” I took a tsunami of shit. For a variety of mostly selfish reasons I have been dodging birthday plans since my divorce. Truth be told near the end of my marriage during what I now mentally refer to as “the troubles” I strung together three of the worst birthdays of my life. I have allowed that to make me feel some sort of way about the entire day so I usually turn into a lying excuse machine and hole up alone. Worst yet, for those not in the know, the day is also a worldwide holiday that has nothing to do with my entry into this world, so there’s that…
But this year I turn 60 and that should be celebrated in some kind of grand fashion. This is what has my brain all twisted up like a pretzel. “I got a pretzel in my head!”
I am now on a mission to do something fun on my birthday and I have no idea what it looks like. Currently Im leaning toward a trip of some kind. Warm weather in winter sounds nice but there are so many questions not the least of which is who to celebrate with? I do have family and friends but it feels douchey to ask people if they want to travel somewhere for MY birthday. Then there is the potential of taking a lady friend (full-body-douche-chill after typing that) but that feels like I would have to be way more committed than I am up for at this point. This particular puzzle is going to take some time.
*editors note: this is by no means a cry for help regarding my birthiversary but that is exactly the kind of thing someone would say regardless, so, shit, now I’m confused.
In other news I am 90% sure I will be living with a roommate when I move back to Illinois. It’s an old friend and he is in a similar situation to myself. I tried to figure out a way to put a Boxabl somewhere but Illinois is fucking annoying and I’m not going to buy land with just a chance of being able to do what I want. Rents are regoddamdiculous. This brings me to sharing some expenses with a friend.
I think I am close to a perfect roommate. (cue the groans from those who know me) I am a bit of a neat freak, I travel Monday through Friday, and gosh darn it, I like me. I really would just like someone to annoy on the weekends as Siri and I are currently fighting. If Apple goes through with their Ai plans I will be the first to get sentiant machine screwed because I am mean as shit to the British butler that lives in my phone.
Sounds like Future Tom problems.
I’ll leave you with a random airplane picture from this mornings landing in Seattle.
