Sickly Sickerson

awful bathroom related material. Sensitivity to such should move along.

I have cough due to cold and it really pisses me off but in the world of available ailments it is nothing. Family and friends are going through some real shit this holiday season and already scheduling into the new year. I keep reminding myself of that but I need to get this illness in my rearview mirror as I have a new job to start next week. With urgency in mind I made a bit of a tactical error yesterday that I have no desire to ever repeat. but I will if I HAVE to

Vitamin C and I have always had an interesting relationship. Airborne has always worked for me and I got to the point years ago where I would use it as a prophylactic (not for birth control -mental 13 year olds -I had the plumbing work done for that) and usually one or two tablets at the most would knock the sniffles right out of me. Two tablets would usually cause some trouble with my guts but that is mostly due to the fact that I forgo the dissolve in water step and just pop the thing in my mouth…

When I awoke yesterday I was completely clogged and had a Darth Vader deep voice. So I decided to keep popping tabs until I drove off the invading cooties. I lost count of how many tablets I endured and fell into a nice sickly nap around 1:00pm. About a half hour later I awoke to a sword fight happening in my intestines. I don’t really have a sensitive stomach so I have never really experienced emergency bathroom troubles. Until yesterday.

For the next eight hours I couldn’t be more than steps from a toilet as the effervescent tablets liquified my internal organs. The cramping came in waves and unguarded coughs and sneezes resulted in complete outfit changes and lots of laundry. Right now my house has public swimming pool levels of bleach and I’m still not satisfied with the cleanliness. This is actually a PSA to strictly adhere to the warning about not taking more than 2 tablets in a day.

I still don’t feel great but I think I have put the germs on notice. If they don’t get out I am willing and able to carpet bomb them with the evil fizzing vitamins. Anyway, I have an Aunt in the area with a recent cancer diagnosis and a friend from home who can’t seem to stay out of the hospital for reasons that are his alone to tell but give me random dick pain. My problems are minor at best.

And then out of the blue someone declared pictures of high school Tom with a butt cut day. Two different friends came out of the clouds with unrelated old photos. The first is my freshman yearbook pic…

The eyes follow you. Its creepy. Next up is proof that the part down the middle persevered all the way through graduation…

Don’t ask what my friend’s little brother is wearing because I have no clue. None of us look afraid so it might be a kindergarten graduation robe or some such nonsense. Clown/Klan costume also comes to mind but the adults back then were pretty woke and again, none of us look scared. Stay healthy out there, NEVER take more than 2 Airborne tablets in a day, and if you’re NOT parting your hair down the middle it might be time to bring that back.