Same state different lake
I consider Michigan my summer place because it has been for a large part of my life. Today would have marked the thirty second year of my former marriage and that is a bit of a mental speed-bump today without question. Lots of things swirling around my broken brain but none more than the last ten plus years “celebrating” in this great state. My ex has a family home on a lake not too far from this one that I had dreams of retiring on but that is now in the rearview mirror. So I was happy when my people decided to meet here to congratulate a graduate this week.
All is well. Family helps. Friends help. But ultimately it’s my own attitude that dictates everything. I’m sitting here cooling down after a walk where I engaged with a guy giving away shit. Old things, broken things, metal things, wood things. All things that at one point he HAD to have for one reason or another but now they just took up space and annoyed him. That’s kind of where I am with thoughts of the past. I hate that some of those corny decorative signs have actual powerful quotes on them because I keep seeing a mental driftwood version of a great quote:
“ Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seuss
*authors note: this is not some bullshit advice on divorce in general nor does it apply to any situation save my own. If your former spouse was an asshole, crazy, a cheater, abusive, or anything else from a pile of awful then fuck them. My own was mutual and I just want to make sure my head doesn’t get too far up the feeling sorry for myself chute.
I’m going to use this day and place as a touchstone and challenge myself to no longer talk about what happened or what was and only collect what doesn’t annoy me. It’s funny because I was having this not so deep thought as I was walking up to Fred Sanford and when he asked if I wanted any of his wares I told him I would like to add to his pile. I probably should have turned off my sun in the eyes walking on the side of a well trafficked road sweaty bitchface because he immediately began to tell me that wasn’t going to happen.
I explained I was kidding and picked that point to head back to the house. It was beginning to feel like I could drink the air and the traffic was picking up. This place is in serious need of sidewalks.