relocate
The thought of setting up an entirely new life is overwhelming. Everything will be new or viewed through a brand new lens. Financial things that were just beginning to get comfortable will soon get interesting as I set up my new existence in a new zip code. I should probably explain the move.
When you are together as long as we were you lose your individual identity to some extent. By that I mean that you are not viewed as each, but as a couple. And over time your friends (or at least our friends) are couples. When the marriage ends there is usually a clear villain which makes it easy to pick sides. Since we were not kind enough to provide a bad guy it makes things even messier as our friends would have to figure out how to interact with disconnected individuals. Its not the hardest thing in the world and plenty have done it before but it is far from ideal. So that was one point in favor of relocation.
Next up is my own brain. Hard to call a complete halt to that timeline full of feelings. I don't really understand how people can throw a life spent together out of their brains barring catastrophic misbehavior. This is a long winded way of saying I'm going to need some time to unscrew my brain from this whole ordeal. Friendly or not, mediation or full-blown knife fight divorce, this process is far from a good time and I will need some space. Another point towards moving.
Finally, finances are going to be a pisser. Not life ending but certainly life altering. Take a combined household income that was nicely covering your current situation and divide it into two separate chunks and things get tight. Again, not crying poor, just some more new realities that I will need to figure out. And yes I will be paying what in this state is referred to as "maintenance" but I do so with no anger or malice. If the law says its fair then I'm in.
My company is headquartered in Minnesota and in a clear case of "be careful saying NEVER" I will be moving somewhere I publicly declared I never would. The reason is a better economic opportunity. I have kind of maxed out my remote work salary potential so its time in my career to live near the mothership and see what might develop. It doesn't hurt that the cost of living is less and I'll only be five hours away. So North and West I go.