Yesterday was one of those posts where I wanted to delete the whole thing minutes after hitting the publish button but I have always written online by the rule that once its laid its played. For you non-card players out there it basically means once you put a card on the table face up its in play. No putting it down then immediately grab it and stuffing it back in your hand because you screwed up somehow. I use that same thinking once I publish. As someone who is hypercritical of their own work very few posts would make it past my regrets and I would be caught up in an endless editing loop. Rather than take down posts in the past that upset people I have burned previous blogs to the ground. Its just better for everyone that way.
I was also in a strange spot at the time of that writing. Without getting into too much detail someone I dated up here reached out to "just say hi" and I could have easily have solved my mild case of lonely. The only trouble with that is I'm not attracted to her. That is probably shallow as a mud puddle of me but those are the facts and I don't want to be an ass by OH CRAP, WHO CARES. I'm doing it again. I had an actual story when I sat down and I need to get there...
I went out for my afternoon constitutional in the freezing wind today so I shortened my normal track. I was hustling along the spot where most of my homeless friends live during nicer weather when I noticed a tent in the distance. I thought it might be a shelter shut down for the winter like a cabin up north but as I got closer I noticed smoke rising up which is a sure sign of life. As I got closer I couldn't figure out where the internal heat source was venting from the structure. It was once a store bought tent but had gone through modifications and on closer inspection the chimney was a hole cut in the top.
I had shut my music off and was listening hard for other signs of occupancy until I couldn't stand it anymore. I called out "is anyone in there?" to which I got a louder than expected response YA! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! "I just wanted to make sure you were okay because it looks like there's a fire in there." NO SHIT, HOW IN THE FUK DO YOU THINK I'M STAYING WARM?!
"My bad, sorry." DO YOU WANT A BLOWJOB?! "No thanks, I'm good." I"M BETTER! BLOWJOOOOOB!!! and she kept screaming that as I went along my merry way. Nothing says quit feeling sorry for yourself like and encounter with someone living in a pup tent warming themselves by an open flame hustling BJ's for drug money. I added her to my do not disturb while walking list and made a mental note that New Year's Eve is filled with possibilities.