notes

I really need to get better at updating this thing. Once this rhythm kicks in I’ll be able to post from the road but right now every week is in a new location. This means new people, extra work at night as I try to figure out how I will add value moving forward, time zone nonsense, etc. After this week I will have seen all 8 companies and that means I can concentrate on the three or 4 that really need my help right now. That’s going to make it easier.

I did get back into the notes app thumbing down the things that interest me and it’s a good thing too because when I sat down to write this I had nothing. That might be due to me filing my taxes but either way I was idealess. The note entitled I Spy contained two total so I will relay those now in block quotes:

“Dude with a whale tail. Why would anyone go out of their way to sign up for that discomfort?”

There was a guy in the airport wearing a red thong. Not sure if it was a mankini or just women’s underpants turned into a junk-cutter but either way he was adjusting his suitcase payload and his otherwise conservative dude outfit highlighted the red whale’s surface breach. I’m not sure who signs up for all day discomfort on purpose but the thought of a string up my ass on a three hour flight makes me uncomfortable. I consider myself a progressive and free thinker but this had me questioning my open minded self image. My inner 13 year old wanted to walk over and pull on that thing until it gave out but I also know that most dudes are pigs so touching said same might mean boiling my hand in acid.

“The emotional support pet two rows up from me needs its own support as it either ate something disagreeable or is a nervous flyer. I thought the thing was just farting a bunch but now the lady next to them is audibly gagging and hitting the call button. I’m trying not to laugh as I breathe into my shirt. We are all flying in a dog’s colon right now.”

This one was so traumatic that I blocked the memory until I just reread it. The first hint of trouble wafted back to me just after takeoff. Dog fart is distinct but the act of taking off is unnatural for me and I have a rudimentary knowledge of what’s going on. For a dog - the world starts shaking, then the ground severely tilts, then pressure comes into your ears along with a constant annoying chorus of noises. The poor thing did finally shit the floor because I watched the sky waiter bring handfuls of paper towels and napkins followed by a trash bag for the offense. Our flight was full and NO-ONE was going to switch for a middle shit-adjacent seat with the gagging woman. I had trouble complaining about anything the rest of that week.

Everyone have a great weekend as I need to get back to trying to find a reliable and cheap used car for my middle child. This is where living here really grates on me. Hard to help from a distance. If you know me in real life and know of a car that might work email me. I’m getting desperate.