No and nope
I mentioned yesterday that I have been eating and drinking like an asshole lately and I will attempt to curb that behavior but I need to mention that it’s not all my fault. I was taken to a place that is far from my normal drinking establishment. It was called Prime Social and we were there celebrating so there was a need to play along. Sushi from some kind of boat contraption and a whole pile of other food. People are drinking those smoked drinks that arrive in a glass bell, you get the gist. Not crazy but definitely not my norm. Things took a turn when a round of pink drinks showed up with a silver skewer across the top.
There was what looked like a flower bud impaled on the spike and we were told to take a nibble of the flower before taking a drink. Not one to prolong discomfort or the consumption of food my food eats I ground the entire thing up in my mouth to get it over with… in hindsight I probably should have listened because shit got weird. The flower is called a Buzz Button and it gets up to some shenanigans inside of your mouth. Everything tingles and food tastes bizarre. I heard something about opening and locking certain taste buds over others and numbing parts of the tongue while stimulating the saliva system… I’m not flower doctor, it got weird. I drank the rest of the now electrified Pink Squirrel or whatever the drink was called and tried to kill the sensation with beer flavored beer. Nope, weird beer.
I am not sure which part of the evenings festivities got to me but the next day there was trouble in tummy town. And speaking of stomach troubles… I have a public service announcement. If you see this can in your local grocer just keep walking.
I am a soup guy. Especially in winter. With my recent covid related taste issues I really enjoyed the Campbell’s spicy collection. They snuck this evil bastard in to the same section and as shopping for food annoys the hell out of me I normally just grab similar things in the same vicinity and call it good. When I got home Friday night I was hungry and down to this as my final selection. Reading the label I realized that a purchasing error had been made but like I said I was hungry and this was there.
I opened the lid and gave it a sniff telling myself if I smelled any crazy heat then I will head out in search of sustenance. Not detecting anything out of the ordinary I pressed on. The first couple spoonfuls weren’t bad and the way I cook it some of the discomfort was masked by temperature. I took down big bites of noodle when I felt the heat thinking that would be calming, and for the most part it was. I finished the bowl.
My guts were roiling an hour after dining so I began the process of throwing Tropical Tums at the trouble. I had no idea that this was the helpful equivalent of tossing soda crackers into an active volcano. I’ll save the details of my Saturday morning other than to tell you I ruled this apartment from a throne of fire.
Ghost pepper soup can fuck all the way off.