I’ve been in a poor headspace for the last couple of days and that has prevented me from posting because every time I sit down to write I want to complain about stupid things that are out of my control. What I’m really saying is that I’ve got to let some stuff go. Luckily I had a doc-in-the-box therapy earlier this evening and she helped me realize that I might be stuck. I’m not going in to detail here but it boiled down to me getting busy fixing, or, I could roll around in self pity like an idiot incapable of solving life problems.
But before I could get the help I had a bit of a problem that deserves a quick telling. So yesterday was an oddly tough one as I beset on all sides by selfish ignorance. This is an overwritten way of saying that I wanted to take a flaming broad sword to most of the people I interacted with throughout the day. We are going through a pile of change in our company and it’s bringing out the worst in almost everyone outside of my core group. I tell you that not to complain but to set the stage for my mindset whilst attempting to walk off a bad day later that evening.
It was later than usual but I think it was the longest day of the year so it wasn’t going to get dark until after 9:00pm. I was out around 8:00 and the combination of walking and listening to music was realigning my brain. I have an alley on one of my regular routes and unknowingly broke my usual situational awareness rules. This meant that the dude who appeared directly in my path scared some life out of me. I immediately shifted into fight or fight mode (speed has never been one of my core competencies so I just lash out in those situations) and screamed at the dude (louder than normal due to the headphones and music volume) I HAVE HAD A BAD DAY AND IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT WORSE… THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO GO AS PLANNED!
As he was legitimately running away I noticed his jaunty light blue Amazon vest. It seems as though I encountered a delivery dude just trying to do his job. As I ran the replay back in my head he was holding a package in front of him as if to ask me where he might find the address. Not my best work and I fear that the poor customer will get the Unable to Deliver message from the Amazons. sorry about that… Made the therapy appointment today a bit more urgent.
In other news I feel great right now. That was until I was reading the news and discovered that this terror from my childhood…
has had a little work done on his undead flesh and reappeared as the NBA commissioner.
Nightmare fuel.