New character unlocked

I’m trying to do more organized walking which will help cut down on the chaotic marching around I do when I talk on the phone. Okay that probably won’t work but I need to trick myself into evening activity and this is the current line of bullshit. This week has me in the suburbs of Detroit and it's a little cooler than I’d like right now but once I get up to speed everything evens out. I have officially eaten poorly this trip so I’m also attempting to balance out bad behavior

You might be wondering why I don’t just spring out of bed early and walk as is my normal prefrence and I will tell you that I probably should… but for some reason the eastward time change screws me up way worse than heading west. This was a long winded way to say that I went walking earlier this evening in what I thought was a fairly decent neighborhood and somehow I ended up in a scene from a Mad Max movie.

There is a park and a dog park and some schools all nestled in a cute little neighborhood so my guard was definitely lower than usual when I’m in a strange environment. It also rained which usually drives the crazy to seek shelter, an observation that will become a factor. I ran out of pavement so I had to walk closely to one of the buildings and as I circled around to the dimly lit back side I scared the shit out of a person and myself. While I was jumping back, swearing, and clenching my fists, this lunatic was already holding an aerosol can and a lighter which he immediately used as an improvised urban flame thrower.

My brain didn’t know how to process what was happening. I wasn’t really in danger because the flame wasn’t even a foot long and I was six plus away. He didn’t charge me but just stood there menacing me with his foot of fire and wide ass eyes. The flame illuminated his face in a disturbing way as well which reminded me of Great America Fright Fest (shout out to the clown years ago that I punched in the side both for scaring me and being a clown… I hope you spent my $20 well) and I had to get the hell out of the area.

I turned and made a quick exit because he held the flame way too long and I was getting exploding can premonitions. I already mentioned the lack of pavement and during my hasty retreat I hit a patch of mud and went down. When you are a human of unusual size there is no graceful correction from an all the way down wipeout. By the time I walked back into the hotel I was a little more than half covered in mud leaving one horrendous footprint every other stride.

When I finally got into my room I went directly into the shower clothes and all. It was either that or just throw the clothes away that I was wearing and that wasn’t really an option because my only jacket was covered in yuck. My stuff is now downstairs in the washing machine after getting the surface rinsed off as well as the hotel towels I used to clean the shower so I didn’t leave a muddy disaster for the maids.

The worst part of the whole thing was going to the front desk for some quarters and having the manager ask me if I was okay by name. I might have to strike this hotel off of the list permanently. I can’t stop thinking about the dude huddled against a building so high/paranoid that he held a spray can and a lighter at the ready. Hopefully in his drug addled delusion he frightened the bear away that jumped up and scared him so he can get some rest. I have got to just suck it up and walk on a treadmill like a normal person.

*there is no picture included with this post because my phone is currently recovering from its mud bath.