lower your expectations before reading

new frenemy

Sitting in a bar minding my own business wallowing in my teams poor performance and I happen to be in an establishment with an Ohio fan. for fucks sake why can’t I just suffer in peace… So me and this guy went back and forth the entire game. Good natured jabs and I did my best not to do my best verbal jousting wise. I successfully restrained my tongue and even bought my nemesis a drink once his team officially won the game. And then the dude next to us decided to chirp on in.

Turns out he is an Ohio State fan and had lots to say about both of our schools. I was in a fresh shit mood from the loss so the gloves were off and since this guy fired on both of us and the game was no longer underway it was two against one. I didn’t really get a shot off before years of being the other school in Ohio came to the surface. It was really fun to watch and I wish I would have taken some of the slams down for later review because I didn’t fully understand most of them. There was shit about their head coach dying his beard jet black to football team hazing based on actual number of buckeye nuts they can successfully cram up their rears.

Eventhough I was out of the loop on most of it I could tell that shots were landing clean. The smile on my face must have been alcohol enhanced ridiculous because as he slammed his money on the bar and told off my new Ohio friend I got an “and FUCK YOU TOO.” I’d been drinking for a couple hours so for no reason that I can fathom I tipped my invisible hat in his direction. That douchey move was my signal it was time to start walking home.

I got tired halfway back which is why I’m typing this to you from a bus stop. I felt someone staring at me and looked up to see a bus driver with the door open staring daggers at me. Time to get back up and make it home lest I nap here. Nothing good happens if I sleep here. I’m just going to publish this fucker and regret it later. Have a great rest of your weekend and Fuck THE Ohio State.