Love Hate
I'm in a pissy modd, you've been warned. Oh, and this is a boring post mostly about sports. so there's that.
I have been feeling not great for the last week but nobody likes a whiney bitch so I just dealt with it. I am on the mend but when the body doesn’t feel great the brain usually follows or at least mine does. Sunday was not fun for me as my Chicago Bears lost to the Minnesota Vikings. (for those not in the know I currently reside in the Twin Cities) After that was over I switched to my beloved NFL Redzone channel but even that couldn’t correct my mood.
Most of the year I don’t pay for TV. I am one of many idiots that subscribe to way more streaming services than I could ever watch and don’t even get the full use out of those. I usually end up watching whatever is popular at least enough to see if it annoys or entertains. The last thing I loved was Reacher and currently I’m being tortured by the Game of Thrones prequel. If you haven’t seen it don’t bother. at the very least wait until the season ends so you can make the best use of the fast forward button.
Anyway, the Bears game tonight is on Amazon Prime and these assholes keep running commercials for the service that a everyone is already watching. They keep advertising some Lord of the Rings spinoff thing that I know will annoy but I will probably give a couple episodes time once the whole thing is out. Crap, I’m already off track.
I started down this road because this is the only time of year when I pay for TV. I love college and pro football so the money doesn’t annoy me even though I only really watch 2 days a week. That is until my teams annoy. Such a shit mood I was in on Sunday that I canceled my fall football watching package. I have to be honest, it made me feel a little better to delete that from my life. (at least for now)
So tonight I get to watch my team play on a service I have for free shipping on dumb shit I don’t really need and grocery delivery. I do so love this game but I think I would be better served by watching ones that I care nothing about. Being a fan is heartache with brief flashes of euphoria. I don’t like the ride at this point in my life and not just because I’m a little under the weather. There is a lot more overall life dissatisfaction going on currently but this is the focus of the moment.
Back to the game. We were driving for the first touchdown of the game we throw an interception on the 5 yard line. Then a little later we were 4th and goal from the ONE and got stopped. My team can’t score from the 5 or the 1. Holy Horseshit this is hard to watch. I’m boring the non football people right now but there’s a reason for this drudgery. I am working in a lot of ways attempting to be a better person. One of the exercises I am in the midst of is finding the stressors in my life and reducing them as much as possible.
The work nonsense has a clock on it and I am in no position to stop working anytime soon. But my home life could do with some work. And right now a big annoyance on that front is this game. I might have to rethink this thing I’ve loved for as long as I can remember. If this doesn’t have some creepy metaphoric ties to events in my real life…
For fucks sake. I really need to snap out of this funk and a break from football might be the answer. This one doesn’t feel great to post and I’m 50/50 on hitting the publish button. I don’t like this side of myself but if I’m going to be honest with my audience sometimes I am going to lay a rotten egg. If you’re reading this I went through with it but know I most likely don’t feel great about it.