It has been an odd weekend to say the least. My brain is twisted for a number of reasons but it just seems like my existence is a bit off. It feels like something the hippies I grew up with for a short while in Colorado would say that I didn’t understand then and still don’t believe to this day… which is my biorhythms are out of sync. Granted these were older sisters of some of my first friends so their words burned a little deeper into my then forming brain… because… “authority figures.” Point of fact these were pot smoking high school girls angry because they just missed the 60’s and they were being forced to babysit their oops little brother and his annoying friend.
I wrote that mini dissertation to explain to myself why I keep thinking that these things I neither understand or believe in are off. Anyway, enough of the scrambled eggs that currently reside in my skull. It is cold here. Marching around this morning in the 27 degrees had me looking hard at my life choices thus far. And just as I began to feel overwhelmed by all the stuff going on around me I came upon this…
You will most likely have to zoom in to get the full effect but that yard grabbed my full attention. And before you jump to the same conclusion that I did a neighbor caught me staring and said that it looks like that year round. (I naturally assumed scary halloween decorating aimed at the anally retentive) He also pointed out that this is the result of a city mandated cleanup which I took to mean it had been much worse.
I had to ask if he’d ever been inside because I can only imagine what’s happening in there but sadly he had not. No idea why but after that, the rest of my day completely turned a corner. Holy shit on a popsicle stick that yard stresses me out. I went home and found a couple things in my apartment to donate just because and my mood once again elevated.
I think all of the upcoming change on my horizon has me at a heightened alert level and little things stacking on top caused irrational escalation. Friday my eldest had her car stolen from the school where she works. The city of Chicago has some problems that need addressing and my child is a part of that environment. As a parent you never stop worrying about your kids even into adulthood and I feel a little disconnected living this far away only being able to provide phone support. Everything will work out but its hard to watch them go through it.
My own car search isn’t going as planned as the deal I thought I made fell through. I am literally looking to rent another car and the only real shit that I give is can I comfortably fit inside whilst operating the vehicle. Current rates and the general state of the auto industry has made a normal annoyance into a rough handed testicular squeeze but I do have a need to drive. I’m heading home next weekend as the youngest of my godchildren is getting confirmed and this little ball of awesome reached out to me herself to come.
Time to go get my levels correct before the Bears begin to play. Sunday night football can be some sleepfuckery if I’m not careful.