Into the storm

Whether the weather be good, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Or whether the weather be hot. We'll weather the weather, Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not.

If news reports hold I will be driving back to Illinois in Holiday Snowmageddon. I was supposed to leave Thursday afternoon to head back for the holidays but that looks like it will put me right up the Snow Misers asshole with double digit negative temperatures paired with up to fifty mile per hour winds. I really need to look up how they measure wind speeds across the country. It can’t be a network of those helicopter measuring spoon deals… sorry, sidetracked already. So to avoid that fate I will leave tomorrow after work.

My plan is to head out and drive as long as I can. This could put me in Eau Claire, the Dells, Madison, or any points between here and my destination. White out conditions mixed with blasting defroster is tough on the old eyeballs and no one like dry balls. So I will play it by eye as it were and try to beat the deep freeze. This could make for a clenched up evening but on the plus side I shouldn’t have to do my kegels much over the break.

I was just running my first bag over to the office where I park and got some sideways glances from a group of neerdowells. I think they were trying to assess how much trouble I might be if they wanted to take my bag but luckily I was wearing my mad bomber hat (look it up if you don’t know) affectionately known as my Winter Hair. That plus my football pajama pants plus the amount of space I take up in the world didn’t add up to being worth the trouble. I think these fellas were just looking for some trouble to cause before meteorological circumstances force them to behave.

I will not miss this place this time next year when I’m safely ensconced in the suburbs. I need to go and look for my new favorite Minnesota Big Weatherman Chris Reece. If he’s not on I’m going to be pissed. Some bullshit titled Chief Meteorologist (guesser) might try to storm hog this coverage.