I did a thing

revenge is a dish never forgotten

I have an old coworker and while she is chronologically younger than I, we knew each other before I worked for my current company. Over the years we have enjoyed a friendly back and forth about our respective football teams and I just happen to live near the one she has been a lifelong fan of. So I expected some kind of wise crack about the Bears losing to the Vikings. In fact, she will just be the tip of the shitberg that will be my week of rooting for the Bears in Minnesota, but such is the price of fandom.

A little background on this person so you completely understand. We came from a time where apple products were scarce and only the artsy professionals used them. (which she was one) In the late 90s an Apple sticker meant that you were a member of the Cool Cats Club and she coveted them as if they were sacred. I was once involuntarily involved in a three week debate about placing one on something in her workspace. I didn’t really give a shit because it was a sticker and she ultimately decided against the waste because neither of us loved the company we worked for.

Over the years I thought the power of these pieces of plastic would diminish for her because like any of your annoying friends who discover bands early as soon as they become popular they don’t like them anymore. But in her case it’s not the case. She still covets the little things that most people ignore. I think nostalgia has a lot to do with it and I would bet in all these years she has found maybe four total things that are truly sticker worthy.

For years I just kept the things as my family went through Apple products as if they were the fruit and not the ridiculously priced pieces of plastic, metal, and glass. And then I lost track of my collection. When life took a drastic turn I stumbled across my cache and stuck them in an envelope to bring on the move. A week ago while looking for something else I stumbled upon said same and decided to do some potential preventative revenge.

When the game was over I almost immediately received her pithy Viqueens text. I responded with the following picture.

Her response was a single word. “Why?”

Then she messaged “Are there more on your water bottle?” “And why do you have a water bottle?”

To which I responded that I am trying to drink more liquid ice but that is all I wrote. after a while of sulking she typed “Your table is dusty.”

Good one, I thought not typed. This picture is going to live in her head for quite a while. And shit, she’s right. My table is dusty.