I am in a state of flux
and I have to admit that I'm not a fan
There is a tsunami of change happening in my life right now and this Christmas was the gherkin atop the bizarre sundae that has been this year. Okay a mini pickle on top of a food pile was a random unexplained reference but my brain sometimes connects disjointed thoughts that make perfect sense to me and have no real world translation. Last night I was served a scoop of mashed potatoes on a plate that looked like a never melting serving of ice cream. That was the entire presentation, perfectly round white scoop on a tiny white plate, and as I stared at that unappetizing display my mind wandered to a bizarre vegetable based banana split for some reason. Plantain slices along each side, tomato sauce, gravy, and a mole made up the toppings. Whipped butter and sour cream subbed in for whipped cream and the awful tableau was complete. Nice little peek at the state of my brain right now. You’re welcome.
Between the job change and the odd timing of the holidays it is just a goofy year. There are so many friends I wanted to see this trip but my mind is pushing me back to Minnesota to make sure I am ready for the new gig. Over-preparing is the only way I can prevent the inevitable impending imposter syndrome. I am more than qualified to do the work but change is a motherfucker. I think all of the change is the main reason behind most people staying put at a job they don’t love. Wait, that love thing is bullshit. I don’t think you have to love your job to enjoy it. Personally, I need to feel like I am contributing to the greater good of the company, helping the people around me, and I have to trust leadership above me. I had that for 10 of the last 12 years and it was awesome. These last two have been a struggle so it was time to make a change…
Somewhere along the line I picked up a cold. I awoke completely clogged and deep voiced. That is NOT what I wanted for Christmas and it might mean my early exit tomorrow morning. I convalesce much better alone. Point of fact I might have gone too far in the alone comfort zone and it might be time for me to get back on the therapy thing to start figuring that out. Seems like a 2024 Tom problem…
I had more to write but the cold medicine I took is kicking in. The cooties I picked up could easily have come from a favorite dive bar but they could advertise as the watering hole of patient zero and I would still stop in for a beer. My favorite area bar tender works there and the bizarre collection of decorations is ever changing. I couldn’t stop staring at this scrotum necked Christmas famingo…
BTW no idea who the dude in the tux is but I get a memorial photo vibe so I don’t ask. By all the stains that picture has seen some shit but he looks friendly enough so RIP. I also had to break down and buy the juke box app to win a bet. It revolved around the worst song ever and after plating both tunes the judge ruled in my favor. The low musical bar is currently set at Muskrat Love by the Captain and Tennile. If you doubt me play it for yourself and I want you to pay particular attention to the synthesizer muskrat chatter. no. worse. song.
nap time