HSBW

Happy Super Bowl Weekend

Holy Hell Tracy I’m writing as fast as I can… I had a friend do a series of brave things this week and I couldn’t be more proud to know her. Now that she is safely on the other side her trials it was time to let me know that I haven’t updated in a while. I’ll always take a fair point under advisement and she is right so here we go.

I was in Denver this week and it still remains one of my favorite cities. We had some bumps along the way especially in the going out at night department but I still love the views and the weed infused vibes of the mile high city. (pun not intended but welcome just the same)

The ride share drivers in this town have some work ahead of them collectively to get up to par. The trip from the airport was conducted by a mental patient who was acting as if I had said “STEP ON IT. GET US THERE IN RECORD TIME AND I’LL DOUBLE YOUR FAIR” (I should have told you to read that in an early 1900’s newsreel voice) Tailgating, making up his own lanes, centering his license plate on the conveniently provided dotted lines in the road, stopping like a child appeared in the road the accelerating as if a ghost was chasing us. By the time we reached our hotel I needed some deep breaths as not to launch my not yet eaten lunch.

Next up we had a dude that possessed a rare form of deafness that only tuned out the horns of other drivers. One might not think that is a big problem unless your erratic driving makes you a horn magnet. The next night we wen a little closer to downtown Denver only to experience another extreme stop and go fella who happened to be practicing some kind of auto slalom course on regular highways. Then he had to slow down due to the accident scene we came upon where we got to watch someone who got knocked out of their shoes by a car be loaded on the back of an ambulance. I was getting real pissed that he wasn’t picking up my not so subtle verbal cues to slow the fuck down when my friend who ordered the car informed me after we were dropped off that he was deaf. (That’s what I get for making up the first night’s driver handicap)

Some day I’ll tell you the story of my high school arch enemy who also happened to be among the unhearing…

Just as my stomach began to settle in the restaurant a fire broke out and we had to stand outside for over a half hour in the colder than expected. And the next night my two friends and I got separated on our rides and they witnessed a car completely flipped on its roof. I then chose to believe it was all their fault to make myself feel better.

Finally today as we were leaving our Chinese driver took us on a tour of the Denver suburbs as he meandered his way to the airport. This could have been an espionage run as his route took us conveniently by the Space Force base. (I didn’t know it was a real thing either but I took a picture to blend in with our spy vehicle)

I didn’t feel right snapping pictures of the parts we got close to just before this that were surrounded by razor wired fence… plausible deniability.

After that whirlwind adventure I get to go meet my friends in Wisconsin tomorrow morning for a weekend of laughter and poor decision making. If I update at all it will be in an effort to take a time out from the festivities. Happy Super Bowl weekend one and all!