I'm pretty sure I just burned my first official medical provider bridge in this town and I am okay with it. Because I find myself still red hot over the whole situation this post might make less sense than usual if thats even possible. Writing will be a potential way to calm down.
This morning was my scheduled tooth issue correction phase one. The back story in case you are just tuning in is I cracked a tooth last weekend. Did the adult thing and chose an in network dentist close to my apartment. I went there and a complete examination including multiple X-rays and tooth probing plus the oral delight of a dudes gloved fingers crammed into my beer hole. The final results of all that turned into an impressive printed plan of treatment gone over by the doctor and agreed upon by me.
Their system is genus because after I am onboard with the plan I get introduced to the bad news employee. Think Financehole at a car dealership. She has a direct link to the United Healthcare Dental insurance site (which I couldn't see but am convinced is a rotating laughing clown head with the word DENIED under it. spinning as well, because, symmetry...) and she goes through the money that you will have to spend to get right. I was way less happy but like any good sales process they helped me justify the payments and even planned things out so treatment would progress into next year when they could once again capture my measly $1,500 maximum coverage.
This had me spending around $7,500 that I don't have and that's after my so called insurance kicks in. I'm not happy but start to puzzle out some ways I might get it to work out. Plus, for phase one today I would only owe $1,400 which I had on my HSA card so no direct kick to my wallet's nuts. But when I reported for drilling and grafting this morning the receptionist informed me that upon further review I was going to be another grand light but not to worry they could bill me.
Now I'm salty. So I get led to my room and the very nice nurse (sorry if that's not the term. I can't keep up with this ever changing landscape of offensive nonsense. I am an equal opportunity offender) started prepping me. As she was running through her speil a phrase she tried to blow by stuck in my brain. "and hopefully everything goes as planned" wait, what?! "Well sometimes things can get complicated and you never know what we might find." bullshit.
"excuse me?"
I said BULLSHIT. What I meant to say was this feels like a racket and I'm out.
"wait, let's talk to doctor, I'm sure he can clear up any misunderstanding."
Go get him, I've been sitting here for an hour waiting for a procedure I obviously can't afford and now your teeing me up for more potential upcharges. I'm leaving.
Doctor: "Whats going on?"
You made a mistake in your sales process. You let me sit here and stew on the whole thing and I have come to the conclusion that I would rather suffer a cracked tooth than deal with this bullshit. (writing this down I now realize that I was pretty mad if I kept repeating bullshit. I am a much better swearer than that)
Doctor: "wait, we agreed..."
I cut him off: Nope. I trusted you as a professional and you kept finding ways to dip deeper into my wallet. I should have thought harder about that douchey gold chain around your neck. (no idea why I insulted his jewelry but in my defense I was upset)
He started to speak again and I interrupted with a curt FUCK OFF. And then I in fact proceeded to fuck right off back here. On the way out I told the upselling receptionist that all credits for todays circus had better be on my account by Monday or I would focus my considerable free time toward online reviews. I also mentioned that I'm pretty good at disgruntled.
So I'm pretty sure I just made yet another list but this is my first one in this town. I've been coming here for ten plus years so I feel pretty good about that stat. for now.