Fun? Friday
First: I really need to stop trying to post on Sunday nights. I wrote this thing and thought I hit publish before I shut down my laptop only to discover that I did no such thing. I had something I wanted to write about just now but that got flushed out of my skull the minute I noticed that this didn’t make it out of the oven. This serves a a warning whilst you read in case anything doesn’t make chronological sense. You might be thinking “why don’t you just edit it?” good one.
I got to go watch on of my crazy friends play a game that I played drunk 30 years ago. Broomball was an intramural sport introduced to me by some of my college friends from Minnesota. When I played we had trimmed down actual brooms dipped in plastic and we wore gym shoes that some of the guys would slash the soles with razor blades for more traction. I say some guys because I wasn’t going to ruin some shoes just to scoot around on the ice with a little more confidence. Plus the time I showed up in golf shoes I was forced to change… but now they have special shoes, sticks, and everyone wears helmets.
I played goalie which meant way less running and that I could drink in game thanks to my at the time state of the art Bota Bag. I don’t have time to teach you about the wonders of this ancient alcoholic invention but I linked the wikipedia so enjoy. I should also tell you that even though I attend events that freely sell booze my inner college student almost ordered one for old times sake. Anyhow, the people who play this now take the shit seriously…
My friend is not a large human but she will square up with anyone at any time on the ice. I was thoroughly impressed. She also runs around a 5k per game which made me tired just watching. I should also mention that she plays on the US team and will be competing in France this year so there’s that. Yup, it’s a serious thing. I’m pissed because she got into a scrap earning a one game suspension later in the evening but I was having troubles of my own and couldn’t get back.
I met some friends out at a bar because there was a band that they wanted to see. I have mentioned that I have no current interest in dating but that does not shut down my internal targeting system or my love of meeting interesting people. Targeting system makes it sound more sinister than it is but it’s the best descriptor. I watch people and then when I find a character or someone attractive I begin planning my approach. The more I have to drink the more likely I am to act and the worse things usually turn out. This was kind of the case Friday night.
There was a woman at this event with battery operated Christmas lights in her hair. On the crazy - hot spectrum she definitely registered nuts but I was drawn to her look like a moth to flame. I drank a little more than usual because the music wasn’t really my thing and before I noticed her it was a bit boring. I watched for a while and it didn’t appear she was partnered up in her group so I waited for my chance to separate her from the herd and the next thing I knew we were having a fascinating discussion.
She was all over the road and kept telling me she was nervous which seemed odd for someone with a head full of fairy lights but whatever. I was thoroughly entertained. I don’t remember much but I do recall thinking I need to google Sex Related Conspiracy Theories. (don’t bother by the way. her stuff revolved around attraction and world breeding programs) This was probably my fault as I am a sucker for cleavage and tan lines plus when I drink I am not as surreptitious as I think… We had been talking for like 45 minutes and various members of her party kept checking in. I had no nefarious intentions so I was just meeting some new folks when out of the blue the boyfriend showed up. In my defense no attachment was indicated or brought up in all of that time so this guy was big-mad for no reason.
From his angle of approach and the fact that I was seated on the other side of a bar corner from his lady meant he didn’t get a grasp of my size. As he walked up to intimidate me I stood to shake his hand and there was a height, weight, and reach disparity. He wasn’t happy about it but he chose to accept my diplomatic offering. This dude was completely boring. His conspiracy filled lady with blinking hair went from fun to docile so I knew that entertainment was over but I didn’t want him to feel threatened so I ordered us some shots. I remember consciously talking to her forehead as not to tempt my lizard brain to sneak a glance. Okay, I am a bit of a pig.
The next thing I knew I was dodging an invitation to an afterparty and taking an Uber home upset about coming back in the morning to retrieve my station wagon. The next day was no fun at all. More than a little hungover and mentally chanting “please be there, please be there, please be there” I found the car and navigated back home but the rest of the day was toast. I was not well and only felt back to 100% this morning. I don’t travel this week which is god because I need to get my life in order. If your wondering about the “friends” I met that night so was I. Still don’t really know what happened to them and I’m in no rush to find out. Sometimes people self-select.