I had another one of those weeks at work but it did a complete turnaround on Friday and some of that was in my own brain. I am getting annoyed because everyone at my company is not working toward the greater good. That is an oversimplification and a sweeping generalization but its better than unfairly telling details of specific situations. Let’s just say I’ve been in a constant state of disappointment.
I was thinking about that Thursday night and suddenly remembered the quote on my wall during my divorce that really helped me get through…
That picture was taken from my office sleeping couch where I spent most of my free time (as well as every night) the last year I lived in that house. If you can’t read my exaggerated writing it says “Expectation is the mother of disappointment. Don’t expect, communicate,” I have been disappointed at work for the last few months and its time to cut that shit out. So Friday I decided that would be my new tactic.
Much to my surprise the new outlook seemed to help. Well, that and the fact that one of the people annoying the excrement out of me decided to pick a fight. He went the passive aggressive route, tattled to my boss about a perceived slight and some other namby pamby nonsense so I’m joining in. NOT in the tattle fest… the fight. And I realized the joy that this conflict brings might not be the healthiest thing but holy shit I love to play. I will figure out how to write about this down the line if things progress but right now you just need to know that I’m fully engaged in something I love.
And then I had an incredible talk with an old friend. Like great mood, go to sleep with a smile kind of talk. I think we come in and out of each other’s lives to help. There are a lot of world philosophies that center around past lives and reincarnation and different connections with the same core people every time you come back. I’m not sure if I’m fully bought in there but I do know there are some human beings that I feel an instant connection with.
And then there are others that the connection is palpably stronger. Seeing someone like that fills you up. I think most people have that with their kids. You feel so connected that being apart for long periods of time feels draining somehow but then when you do talk to or see them its as if no time at all has past. I can’t explain it and I wont even try but I definitely recognize when its happening. And this is one of those people.
We have crossed in and out of each other’s lives since we were kids and always in different ways. I have no idea what the future holds but I know it will be better if I have more contact with people I feel that deep connection with. I’m smiling right now like a schoolboy with a crush which is beginning to annoy so I’m going to stop now.