I tried to interview a homeless man otherwise known as have a conversation and it confirmed a long standing theory of mine. Dude's brain is broken and he wants no help from me other than money. Holy crap that was bad setup work on my part. I really should start over but that seems a lot like work so I'll just press on from here like I meant to do it this way.
I have previously mentioned that I like to walk around this city but its getting tougher as the temperatures drop. We are going to hit some really low temps in the very near future so I am getting in as much outside walking as I can before it gets below zero. (note to future self: write about how great global warming is for people living in traditionally cold parts of the world and how all of these frozen lakes are fresh water sources. Sorry about that, I don't have a pen on me and I've only got a spare ten minutes to write...)
So on my route there are a couple of tent clusters. I guess technically they are camps but they are on the side of the road near intersections so not ideal, picturesque, or restful. I was walking up to take a picture (okay strike the not picturesque thing) of one when a dude came flying out of the big tent screaming and scaring the shit out of me. Luckily my fast twitch muscles aren't quite what they used to be so I showed almost no reaction which seemed to calm him down. I asked how he was doing and he screamed at the top of his lungs to "give him some money and GET THE FUCK OUT."
Once I told him that I don't walk around with cash he became unglued. I was trying to ask if he needed help but he was just repeating the word money. It was like I had wandered into a foreign land where my words didn't work. Turns out he didn't want or need my help. He has a sweet tent, some kind of heat source because it was only 21 degrees out and he didn't look cold at all. But also he wanted me to know that he was ready to defend his turf. Some of his threats were amazing and I was lucky to be wearing a mask because my smile might have pissed him off even more.
"I will fold your big ass in half and shove your head up your ass!"
"I will put you in a leg lock and shit on your neck!"
and the one that really got me:
"I will punch you with my frozen piss bag."
That last one was kind of scary because it was a calm statement of fact and I got the feeling that this was a weapon he has deployed in the past. I really didn't want to find out so I shuffled away. But it further confirmed that the folks who are outside homeless in this weather aren't right, in the head. Tons of shelter space here but the shelters all have pesky rules like no screaming, no fights, no drug use, etc. Tyrants.
I might have mentioned the word homeless at some point during our brief encounter because as I walked away he yelled "I have a house fuckface and its right here!" I stand corrected.