Day 5 without Diet Coke or even caffeine for that matter and I think I’m on the other side of this thing. Afternoons are a bit of a struggle still but my body has to learn how to use food as its only energy source once again and that will take some time. That constant flow of caffeine hidden in my delicious fictitious cola was keeping me up and running. I have fallen dead ass asleep every night this week by 9:00pm and I was on the East Coast so it was really an hour earlier than the norm. Those first couple days were just to keep the headaches at bay but that parts hopefully over by now.
Last night was a challenge however because I flew out at 7:55pm, had a running connection in the awful Atlanta airport, and didn’t get back to my place until 1:30am. So it was just after completing my more than a jog to catch my second flight that I encountered a next level asshole. Look, nobody flying that late on a Friday night is in a great mood. Most folks just want to get home. I obviously was one of the last people to board the plane due to the aforementioned tight connection and when I got to my seat the dude who had the middle was already encamped in my spot.
I like a window. I realize I’m xxl but having something to lean on is comforting to me and I pick those seats early and on purpose. I tried to make eye contact with little middle seat man but he was pretending to be so engrossed in a movie that he didn’t notice the large looming presence. Isle guy was already up and ready to let me in so he leaned over and tapped middle on the shoulder. He removed his headphones like he was completely taken off guard and when I told him that was my seat he said “I’m already setup over here. why don’t you just sit in this seat?” as he pointed to the center.
No.
He just looked at me. He started talking again but I was in a bit of a state so I just said NO again but a bit louder for emphasis. His face crinkled up like I just blew out his birthday candles and he began to get shitty so I set my backpack down when a lovely hand gently patted my cheek. Turns out the flight attendant had seen the brewing kerfuffle and decided to intervene. She kept patting my face while she made the little guy decamp and get out into the aisle. All that kept going through my head was old movie lines when people are trying to calm a riled up beast… Easy big fella, easy Jumbo… That’s funny stuff.
My seat mate was not in the best mood on our trip and even had a snit to himself when beverage service was cancelled due to bumpy conditions. Somebody really wanted a juice box.