As the title suggests I was in a tough place yesterday. A series of unfortunate events caused my brain to enter into a spiral and all I kept picturing was the ship from Journey to the Center of the Earth. You know the thing that looked like a submarine with a spinning cone on the front that obviously vaporized anything it drilled through because there was no where for the waste material to go unless the thing was in a constant state of burying itself…
Anyway, shit went sideways at work on Friday in the only way that can stick with me for long periods of time. Trust was broken. Things were confirmed again Saturday morning and it put me in a weird place. All I wanted was to go drinking with some or any of my good friends but those assholes are all back in Illinois. And so I stewed. The only thing that worked was music and that turned out to be a song by song gamble. I save music to playlists that remind me of things and the universe wanted me to stay aboard the struggle bus yesterday.
But today I’m fine. If work keeps screwing with me then it’s time to start looking. I never leave a position worse than when I took it so there is a couple months work to do and I love this company so there will be no screwing anything up at all. I just need to get back into a mindset I let go dormant over the years. I came to this job in search of something better and I’ll most likely leave the same way.
A couple blocks from my house is a weekend farmers market so I headed there after my walk for some food and weirdo watching. I took an extra long constitutional to exercise the demons and noticed the expansion of the homeless camp. What used to be a cluster of tents now looks like a series of villages along my Mississippi River walking path. And these aren’t the the usual drug addled hastily erected tents begged for at a yard sale (I’m not stereotyping there one of my friends on the camp told me that’s how he keeps adding and upgrading. He finds a tent for sale and asks if they would take like $3 and they usually end up giving it to him.)
I didn’t have the stomach to enquire if the wheelchair in the grass was necessary for a resident or a tool of the trade. Sometimes you need to count your blessings and just keep moving. It’s been a great day.