Every year after boys weekend I build in a gap day of PTO. Partially to allow my body to recover and also to get shit done. This Monday I had a cracked iPhone screen to deal with and the only appointment available was at the Death Star Apple Store. Death Star is a nickname for the Mall of America gifted to me by my friend Rachel and once I heard it there was no other name. Anyway, I found myself wandering around this monument to capitalism for an hour and a half whilst my thousand dollar pocket computer was being repaired and my only regret was not having someone to people watch with.
Also, not having a phone is an annoying pain in the nuts. I spent twenty minutes of my wander attempting to find a reliable source for the current time. It's like Vegas inside that thing - not a single clock anywhere. I ended up buying a pop (another drawback is Pepsi has somehow locked down the entire establishment but I found a Coke oasis in one of the outer arms at a pretend Holiday gas station. yup, IN the mall) and looking at the time stamp on the receipt.
I just missed an upset customer which was a bummer and the only reason I knew it happened was a worker was cleaning up the aftermath. The story I got in the thirty second interaction with the checkout clerk was someone was upset by the lack of a deal that was available at their local station of the same brand and rather than just be mad and go about their business they decide to arm sweep everything off of the top shelf. To me that's kind of a weakly thrown fit. If I ever snap in a shop - construction crews and police tape will be involved. Nothing in your average store is built to angry large human tolerances.
I got my phone back and all was right with the world or at least as right as it had been before. I have a story inside of me struggling to get out but I need to tread lightly because it has to do with a job that I love and the cyclone of change that sits on the immediate horizon. I need to put some thinking behind this one. I will go ahead and declare that little tease complete bullshit but I wrote it as a steam vent for current all-consuming thoughts. So, there it sits.
To circle back to one final Death Star extravaganza... As I wandered around through the amusement park I noticed an adult male squatting down hugging his knees in what can only be described as Poop-In-The-Woods-Position. I reached for my camera but remembered that the Apple Genuses (holy hell I just looked up the plural of genus. and found a word I've never read or said, genera. Nope. I'd rather be wrong than type that nonsense) were doing their sorcery on my phone. I watched for a while not knowing what was up but when we locked eyes I gave him my best I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO stare. He stood and walked away.
No clue if he was making in his pants or some kind of toddler's eye view pervert. Just glad I could make him uncomfortable.