Clean shots

I've earned every one.

I am catching a fair ration of crap about my month of no fun consumption commitment. It is all fair as I have had no trouble shitting on others choices when provoked. What I mean by when provoked the sentence usually starts with You should. Unsolicited advice especially in the eating and drinking realm is kind of a sticking point for me. I am generally happy for you and whatever makes you happy but when your latest fad turns into something you evangelize as I should is where things get bumpy.

I have this happen more than you might think. I can’t count the number of times I’ve ordered a Coors Light at a business dinner and had people pile on with things like “you might as well drink water” or “I’ll head to the bathroom and get you a glass.” I have standard responses for all of those things but the more they persist - the meaner I get. I might even delve into the fact that they base some of their self worth on ordering Pete’s Pirate Pubs Porter even though it has an aftertaste of bitter sadness. I like beer flavored beer.

This also happens with food. I am not a rare steak guy. There is a trend on my team to order steaks Pittsburg Style. Look it up if you need to but I don’t eat my cow flesh that way. If you want to I could care less but don’t try to push your new found cool onto me. FYI on thicker cuts, especially bone in, I find that an order of medium delivers a meal where I enjoy every bite. Anyway, as people have witnessed my warming of these not-so-delicious looking lunches a normal question in any lunchroom is “What are you having for lunch?”

I explain that I’m doing a thing, doctor, blah blah blah, but it’s very apparent that I don’t love this new trend and I’m not shifting my life in that direction. Nonetheless some folks need to remind me that this way of operating is not sustainable and then sprinkle in a bit about what works for them. I usually just nod and hope the boring conversation goes away. Alas, it seldom does…

So one day this week I had a coworker hit me before I even heated anything up. Part of this nonsense I’m involved in is fasting until the noon meal so I was just grabbing a water when this interaction went down. Ive got to obfuscate this story a bit possibly changing genders and definitely not using names because I have some trusted coworkers reading this and it wouldn’t be fair to throw another under my written bus.

So this person was eating a giant bowl of cereal. Again, no immediate judgement on my part but some folks just can’t stop. I learned about this new style of healthy cereal protein low carb blaaaaaaah. Sounds nice I said. Then we walked the you should try it, that thing your doing might not work long term road. I said “enjoy your cow squeezings breakfast soup” and they just stared at me. Didn’t hang around to see if they kept eating or not.

I think some folks were never taught to leave well enough alone. Have a great weekend!