and so it begins

like the guest you hoped wouldn't show up

That is a shot of my apartment building from my office and the white stuff flying everywhere is something past due. The snow shows up here every year and yet these people don’t sufficiently plow or know how to drive. My first year I blamed the pandemic and folks getting their driving sea legs back after a long time locked up. Nope. They just don’t drive the best when the white stuff hits the ground. First snow, thirty-third snow, it’s all the same. Living this close to Canada I assumed that winter navigation would be something built in to the natives. Made an ass out of you and me.

So tonight I took a weird route home as I helped some people navigate the skyway. It wasn’t too far out of my way but it did take me past a known trouble spot. All seemed okay as the thick blanket seemed to quiet things in that bad part of town and looking down at the street from the habitrail it almost seemed serene. UNTIL I happened upon a man relieving himself.

If this were outside I would have walked on by like nothing was happening. But in those glass, steel, and linoleum tubes is a completely different environment. I am no medical professional but the cloud of acrid piss stench that punched me in the nostrils let me know immediately that this persons organs were failing. This was accentuated by his moanscreams as he tried to complete his mission. Immediately without visual aid my brain pictured him trying to pass a bladder filled with play dough. As soon as I thought it I let out an audible “GOOD LORD” but he didn’t even flinch. As I hustled by trying to hold my breath while slowly exhaling through my nose I got a little lightheaded. It wasn’t until I made it all the way back to my home stretch tunnel pictured above that I was breathing without residual sensation.

I have a friend that pisses rocks like his unit is a Pez dispenser and if he doesn’t figure something out I fear I have glimpsed his future. I’m partially kidding but that poor dude in the skyway just wanted the sludge out of his body and this blizzard forced him to bring his act indoors. I am constantly confronted with things I can’t endure as a human being and scream pissing in public places just made the list. Happy Snow Day.