I spoke yesterday with an old mentor who I hadn’t talked to in quite some time. He went through a health crisis and asked that we take a break until he got to the other side. I appreciated this as someone who would like to walk away elephant style when it is my time. I tell you about the health thing because it has put a new frame on how my friend thinks. Having been more than a year and a half since we last spoke I had a lot to catch him up on and when I was done I was greeted with telephone silence.
I had been rambling for a while and immediately thought that the connection had been lost as I walked and talked. A glance at my iPhone screen told me we were still connected but I was still experiencing silence. I called out his name and had a weird flash of something wrong on the other end. Just when I started feel a bit of panic his voice came through loud and clear.
“When did you turn into such a bitch? Get busy fixing it or shut the fuck up.”
ouch. I was looking for more of a poor Tom response but he wasn’t wrong. We went on to talk about how complaining is the easiest thing in any situation. If I am unhappy with work then I need to figure out how to fix the problems (HARD) or go and find a new job (ALSO HARD) but complaining just reinforces my own victim mentality. I am not a huge fan of being called out especially when I immediately understand that the person doing that is 100% correct.
He got inside of my head and scrambled my eggs. I went to bed thinking about this and it fired back up again first thing this morning. I have been repeating this same pattern with quite a few things in my life and it’s time to cut it out. I’m going to need to put a couple plans together but moving forward always feels better. If you don’t have someone you consider a mentor I strongly recommend being on the lookout for one. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Find a voice that you trust who thinks differently than you do which makes the mentorship go both ways. You also need someone who will challenge you on your bullshit.
Aside from the man I just mentioned I am talking to two other individuals and even though my age dictates to the two of them that I am the mentor, I get as much out of our conversations as they do. I am all kinds of inside my brain today and I went on a walk to straighten things out...
I thought this was Tai Chi but if it was it is a very specific single move version. They were in this same pose unmoving when I walked past them on the way out as they were when I took this picture on the way back. I was in no mood to wait for a change but this group requires further investigation. I was going to walk over and attempt to read the English on their ground based signs but I was worried about the temptation to give the sign back to them and start a meeting of some sort. GREETINGS ORDER OF THE EVERLASTING SKY CIRCLE. I’d like to thank you all for coming today…