I do so love the sunrises from my office. This morning I took a picture that turned into an advertisement of the not so subtle variety.
It’s one of the perks where I work and makes my addicted lizard brain very happy. The only thing that would make it better would be if it were a branded Diet Coke machine. Now that I typed that I’m not sure DC machines are a thing... probably some marketing rule about promoting the parent brand or some shit. Whatever it is it has worked on me. I am blissfully addicted to the bubbly chemical concoction.
So addicted in fact that I will either live forever with artificially enhanced organs or die of solidified insides. If you are one of my children reading this and the more likely second scenario plays out...
1. Demand an autopsy and explain the addiction right up front.
2. Secure legal representation and begin suing everyone from the corporation itself on down to local distribution. I may not have been able to provide you with generational wealth in life but there is a good shot after I’m gone.
Also, my new will should include a clause about taxidermy and an attacking bear pose. Wait on that until the legal dust settles. (As far as I can tell you are going to have to ship my remains to a shady country to get this done anyway. Good luck.)