a fine How Do You Do

I never really understood that phrase until now...

I returned home yesterday after a too long stretch and started my back at home unpacking ritual. I think I previously wrote how much I love coming back to a clean apartment especially the sheets. In order to beat the storm I left a full day earlier than planned, so there was a small load of laundry left when I arrived plus I didn’t have time to fold up the Christmas tree. I was in process of making things perfect when I got a text. I am on high set-up alert because apparently the thought of me being alone on New Year’s Eve / my birthday is unacceptable to some people. So when I read the text from a close work friend “are you back in town?” I was immediately defensive.

Yes, I just pulled in. What’s up? (see what I did there? lots of potential outs and travel related excuses) “could you meet me at the office?” Uh oh. If this is a setup she is at another level and I have to respect that.

*DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW WORK PEOPLE THAT GET THIS THING KEEP THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO YOURSELF. EVERYONE WILL KNOW BY NEXT WEEK BUT NO NEED TO UPSET ANYONE’S PTO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

Then she called to tell me that the building just informed her we had a break in on our floor and she didn’t want to go in alone. I put normal pants back on and headed out the door. We met and headed up to our floor to discover the scene of the crime. It turns out that a door leading to the fire stairs didn’t lock so one of the crack zombies got in and got to work.

This was no criminal mastermind. In fact, I think he was really high on his drugs of choice because the burglary made no sense. It’s like he went from destructive, to thirsty, to criminal, to asshole, and everywhere in-between and back again. Things were destroyed for no reason but other things were loaded up for later transport. And the stuff he chose to steal had no pattern of value. Some of it was worth almost nothing and unnecessarily heavy. Attempting to figure this dude out was giving me a headache.

This is just one little section of our kitchen. I took a bunch of other pictures for the insurance company but most of them have the company name somewhere on them and that’s not something I feel like including in this. To sum up it was a drug addled mess.

The one thing that showed his lizard brain kicking in was he stole all of our sterno cans. This lead me to believe he is an unhooked individual and thought that a bunch of small self contained fires were a great idea. He loaded up so many that storage would have been an issue but good for him thinking survival. He was discovered as he staged a weekends worth of work near the elevators. We cleaned for a couple hours so that no-one had to walk in to the alarming sights.

I’m going to be really pissed if this turns out to be one of the people I know. I expect better from my insane addicted above ground tunnel acquaintances.